Things that made me =(

I couldn't sleep well tonight, keep recalling unhappy thoughts naturally, without wasting time, I did a quick analyst and here are the summarized situation/incidents that made me =( 

1. When one friend who realized you are boring and jumped to others and started to ignore you almost 99.99%
2. With situation stated in 1, the so-called friend come to you for help and then later 'dispose' you off conveniently
3. One friend who acted in as role of the friend and acted bona fide to you with the intention of getting something out of you
4. When doing a group work, one keep reminding you of the loss of another friend and wishes that particular friend in the group as he/she has special ability to speed things up and totally abandon the existing of you could actually do it without that missing friend
5. One friend who could not fully understand your situation and keep jumping on conclusion implying that you are trying to avoid/betray him/her
6. One friend who you tried to help him/her so much, but at the end of the day he/she declared that you are being helpless
7. Friend who only knows how to throw uncountable knives and hurting you directly
8. Friend who ignore you after gaining a certain reputation
9. Friend who being bias
10. Friend who concerns so much of the another and totally forgotten your existence
11. Friend who does not accept who you are
12. Friend who rather sacrifice you off for the sake of his/her girlfriend or boyfriend's importance
13. Friend who betrayed you after helping him/her so much
14. A person who treated you lousily and then apologize for his/her lousilness
15. A person who recognized others and totally ignored you even you have contributed equivalent with others who are being recognized
16. A person who looked down upon you
17. A person who dump donkey jobs for you to do
18. A person instructed you as though you are his/her slave
19. A person who does not listen to your explanation
20. A person/friend who blasted you in the morning just for the sake of claiming his/her rights
21. A person/friend who willing to help you at one point and then later on claiming you are burdening him/her or as if you are treating him/her like a slave
22. A person/friend who claim that your importance does not concern him/her

Phew~ It is very challenging to even write them in words. I almost burst into tears :'(. These memories are meant to be forgotten forever and ever. Some are very painful memories of mine. Some are just like, "How come I am so silly on that time?"

Nevertheless, these are neither my fault nor his/her fault. I had to keep improving myself, avoid making the same old mistake to be hurt again.

*sighs* Its amazing I am still mentally sane after all these incident happen. Sometimes, I think there's only a thin single line that could snapped off and then to insanity. I hope this does not happen. Never happen.

~_~

-N.